Do you Have a Soft Addiction?

Soft addictions are a sign of the times. Not only are we fixated on the latest fads and dependent on technology, we also have disposable incomes to indulge our desires.

“The rising levels of stress most of us are under makes soft addictions seem necessary,” explains Jdith. “We feel we ‘need’ to watch TV to escape the stress.”

Melbourne psychologist Meredith Fuller agrees that stress and work overload lie behind the rise in soft addictions. “We’re juggling too much and are terrified of falling behind or being seen as not ‘good enough’. As a result, our relationships are suffering because we don’t have time to connect or communicate well.”

Our growing dependence on gadgets like the BlackBerry and the iPhone is a good example of how we’ve become “permanently hyper-vigilant”, notes Meredith. “There’s no sense of respite because you’re constantly switched on. This makes it difficult for people to relax or enjoy any sort of life balance.”

When our lives are out of balance, something’s got to give, eventually. So what can you do? Meredith advises, “People who have soft addictions should try and recognize what it is that they are really searching for in their various repetitive behaviours.”

Judith adds, “A soft addiction is an attempt to fill our deeper needs. You might think you want a new pair of heels, but chances are you want to feel abundant. You might want to get an e-mail on your BlackBerry, but chances are you’re hungry to belong. We don’t do what we need to do to satisfy that deeper hunger, so we substitute these surface cravings and remain in that addictive process.”

Because most soft addictions are “normal” activities, giving them up altogether is not the answer. “Stop and ask yourself, ‘What is it that I’m really hungry for?’ If we can track what’s going on underneath, our habits can reveal a lot about ourselves,” explains Judith.

Have a Soft Addiction?
Ask Yourself these questions, and if you answer “YES” to any of them, you might be hooked.

1. Do you try to justify your behavior to others and yourself?
2. Has more than one person commented on the amount of time, money, you spend on a particular activity?
3. Is the behavior you are engaged in causing some negative impact in other aspects of your life, like your finances, health or close relationships?
4. Does the behavior no longer give the same satisfaction as it once did?
5. Do you feel like this habit has got control over you and have you ever tried to stop it, but failed?
6. Is this habit causing you any shame or embarrassment?